Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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