that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
