that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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