I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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