Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
