She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
