It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Randomize
