We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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