i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
