porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
