Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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