A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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