Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize