Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
