weddingsv make me drug and hornr
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
