I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
