Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
