The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
