thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
