Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
