my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you win again, gameday.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
