Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He has the fingertips of a God
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