To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
where are my eyebrows?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
