He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am one with the molecules
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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