she woke up with a sticky ear
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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