doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
