But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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