Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
