I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize