she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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