I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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