Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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