is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
