I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
