I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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