Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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