Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
