Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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