...so i touched it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
