she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
