Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
