This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
