garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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