So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will be naked everywhere
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
