Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
