My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
