Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
