I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
