that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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