Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
