This dress was meant to end up on your floor
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
