why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize