I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
