i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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