Got a toothbrush?
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize