I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Green mimosas i think yes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
