I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
